Episode 30: The Value Of Human Connection: Why We Are Losing It And How To Get It Back
In this episode of Prospecting on Purpose, Sara Murray delves into the profound value of human connection and its significance in fulfilling our purpose as human beings. Exploring the alarming decline of genuine connections in today's digital age, Sara uncovers the detrimental effects of isolation and highlights the powerful impact of meaningful relationships on our overall wellbeing. Discover the eye-opening statistics that emphasize the importance of prioritizing human connection in our lives. With practical tips and insights, Sara guides us on how to reclaim and nurture these connections, offering a pathway towards reestablishing the profound value of human interaction in our lives. This is a thought-provoking exploration that inspires us to forge deep connections and create a sense of community in an increasingly disconnected world. You don't want to miss it!
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The Value Of Human Connection: Why We Are Losing It And How To Get It Back
For this episode, we're talking about the power of connection. This is a topic that keeps presenting itself in different ways, which is why I wanted to build a short episode around it. I presented to a global company on this topic. When I was preparing for the presentation, I uncovered some surprising and alarming statistics. One of the biggest was that the top five factors that contribute to a long and healthy life are a healthy diet, which is not surprising there, and exercise, which is also not surprising. Not smoking and not drinking excessively were in the same category. We got that one. The top two that surprised me were close relationships with family and friends and social integration, so feeling like part of a community.
Throughout history, humans have been social creatures, thriving in communities and relying on one another for survival. We are biologically wired to seek social interaction and form deep emotional bonds with our loved ones, our friends, and even acquaintances. However, with the rise of technology, social media, and virtual living, our relationships have taken on a different dynamic. We've gone from it takes a village to pretending to look at our phone when we walk by someone on the sidewalk. We're at a time where we're digitally and logistically more connected than ever but emotionally extremely disconnected and even isolated.
We're at a time where we're digitally and logistically more connected than ever, but emotionally, extremely disconnected and even isolated.
I got to be honest with you. The statistics were super depressing. I am going to share a couple here so we can understand the importance of it. I found them sad. On this show, we keep the vibes high here. I am going to share a couple of them, and then we'll pivot back to the good news and how we can prioritize human connection. Here we go.
One study showed that loneliness is as dangerous to your health as smoking and an even bigger risk factor than obesity and a sedentary lifestyle. Another study showed that decades ago, 3% of Americans told Gallup pollsters that they had no close friends. In 2021, an online poll put that number at 12%. Not surprisingly, the pandemic only amplified this. About a year into the pandemic, 13% of women and 8% of men ages 30 to 49 said they'd lost touch with most of their friends.
There are many reasons why friendships fall to the bottom of the priority list. We’re busy. Work takes up a significant chunk of our waking hours. We’re maintaining relationships or marriages. We’re supporting aging parents or relatives. Our kids have full schedules. Maybe we have our own health issues we're prioritizing. There's a myriad of reasons why friendship and connection fall to the bottom of this list.
The entire point of the human experience is to form a connection with others. If we can understand that this is as vital as eating healthy and exercising for a long and healthy life, we can then prioritize this, carve out time for it, and practice it as we would those other factors. This is another form of self-care, and research shows it will extend your life expectancy. With strong social connections, we have a 50% higher likelihood of experiencing overall happiness and life satisfaction.
From a physical health standpoint, social support is a key aspect of connection. When we break it down, this makes a lot of sense. When we have a network of friends and family who provide emotional support during challenging times, we experience lower levels of stress. We can let other people help us carry those loads. Work and life itself can be stressful. We need trusted release valves. We know that chronic stress can lead to a host of health problems, like cardiovascular disease, diabetes, compromised immune systems, and anxiety attacks. By having strong social connections, we can mitigate the effects of stress and ultimately improve our physical well-being.
From a mental health standpoint, engaging in meaningful relationships fosters a sense of purpose and belonging. We're going to lead more fulfilling lives, pursue our passions, and have a positive outlook on the future. We need positive outlooks to have growth mindsets, and the only way we're going to accomplish our goals and dreams is to have growth mindsets.
Finally, human connection stimulates cognitive function. Think about it. Stimulating conversations, sharing experiences, telling stories, and collaborating with others all enhance our intellectual capacity and make us feel seen. When we connect with different types of people, we gain new perspectives, challenge our assumptions, and broaden our horizons. We're growing as people, and that is the ultimate purpose why we're here. We understand the why.
I want to pivot some of the statistics back to the happy. One study found that more than 80% of centenarians communicate with a friend or family member daily. A centenarian is a person who is 100 or more years old. We all know I like to talk about my grandparents. They, unfortunately, did not join the 100-plus club, but they got close. My grandpa lived to be 89 years old, and my grandmother lived to be 92 years old.
I have to tell you. They were the most social butterflies you could ever imagine. They had parties all the time. They were always hosting dinner with their neighbors. My grandma played Bunco every month. She had her nursing friends and her Red Hat Society friends. My grandpa had his military buddies. They had their friends from church. They went to water aerobics twice a week all the way up to the pandemic.
If I ever tried to watch a movie with my grandparents, it would take four hours to get through the movie. The phone would ring at least twice, minimum. One was usually my godmother, Maeve, who was friends with my grandmother for over 60 years. They talked every day. In addition to the phone ringing, the doorbell was always ringing all the time. People were popping by.
Can you imagine this happening? People don't even answer their phones. At the time, I would find it annoying because I was trying to watch the movie and we kept having to pause to have 45-minute conversations. I didn't realize that this social interaction and sense of community was prolonging their lives. I have a tiny bit of guilt there, but I'm so grateful that they had this networking community around them.
I hope Mac and Esther's social calendar has motivated us all to make some friends, but how do we intentionally do it? Making friends as adults is difficult. It takes work and effort, but it's so rewarding. It's just as, if not more so, rewarding than exercise and a healthy diet. I want to focus on how we can make some friends and how we can make some of these human connections.
For this episode, we're going to focus on work because it's a great place to make human connections. If you work for a company, you instantly have something in common with everyone else who works at your company. That is a connection point. Oftentimes, we're speaking a unique work language that our spouses, our parents, or our grandparents don't understand. There's that organic bond there.
If we're looking to expand friendships outside of our direct coworkers, can we expand within our organizations or our industries? If we're passionate about reading, can we create a book club that's open to different departments? Maybe we'll meet someone new in accounting that we would never normally interact with in our roles. If we want to expand our network in our industries, volunteering for a board of directors position in an association that serves our role but also gives us a platform to collaborate with others is a great option. Maybe it is your alma mater. Volunteer for a board of directors position at your college.
If we're in an outside sales rep role, maybe we form friendships with other salespeople and non-competing product lines. We can host joint events together for our clients. If we hit it off with one of our clients, let's invite them to a yoga class or a poker game. Start a poker game. Get a group together. We can attend conferences or workshops that serve us in our roles but also give us the opportunity to meet people.
For entrepreneurs or people who work alone, there are a lot of communities and group programs that we can join. I'm having calls with new people a couple of times a week to understand our business alignments and see if there's a crossover opportunity. I'm getting so much joy out of that because I'm able to talk to individuals who understand what I'm going through and vice versa. The show personally has been an amazing vehicle to build connections with people and collaborate and create something together. The bonus side effect of all of these human connections is that it's going to make us more efficient at our jobs.
Human Connection: The bonus side effect to human connection is that it's going to make us more efficient at our jobs.
We have some starting ideas on where to find the people or where to create an opportunity to meet people. I want to share some final connections on how to build these friendships. First, we need to be open and approachable. We can't be looking at our phones. We can be smiling, making eye contact, and maintaining a friendly and positive demeanor when we're interacting with people. If you're nervous about this, I'd recommend checking out past episodes of this show. Episode 4: Why Icebreakers Works for Prospecting, and Episode 25: The Importance of Remembering Names, are great starting points.
The second suggestion here is to take the Initiative. Making friends requires taking the first step. Don't be afraid to initiate conversations and show genuine interest in others. Ask questions and actively listen. Use the person's name. Engage in meaningful conversations. If you hit it off, suggest grabbing a coffee, happy hour, or an exercise class, wherever your conversation may lead you. Maybe your conversation was around books and you say, “We should start a company book club.” Here's the trick. You have to get their email or their phone number right then and there, and then you have to make the plan and do it. Momentum gets lost if you don't keep the ball rolling.
Making friends requires taking the first step. Don't be afraid to initiate conversations and show genuine interest in others.
The script that I like to use when I'm closing out a conversation is, “It was so nice to meet you, Stacy. I'm serious about checking out that new yoga studio if you are. Let me grab your number and let's make a plan.” When I say that, I have my phone open showing her I'm ready to take her phone number. I would get it, send her a text right there, follow up with some dates, and book the class. We then see how it goes at yoga. Getting the number and doing the plan is the hardest part. Once you're in yoga class, that part's easy. You did it. If you're concerned about what to say on your new friend date, I'd recommend checking out Episode 21: The Art of Relationship Building in Business.
The last thing I'd leave us with is to be patient and persistent. Think of it as practice. Building meaningful relationships take time. Friendships do not form overnight. Stacy and I may end up having nothing to talk about. Not every interaction will lead to a long-lasting connection. If we keep putting ourselves out there, it gets easier. One of the biggest things I've noticed is that the other person is so grateful and receptive that I took the time to reach out and plan something regardless of if we become best friends or if it's a one-time hangout. Other people are in the same position we are. Be the person that takes that initiative and starts the dialogue. Eventually, it becomes natural and obvious to nurture the relationships that show potential.
Human Connection: Be the person that takes that initiative and starts the dialogue. Eventually it will become natural to nurture the relationships that show potential.
I feel very lucky with the friends, family, and social integration that I have in my life. It fills my life with richness and joy. My wish for every reader and every person on the planet would be to have social connections that add years to our lives. We all have something to offer. We all deserve to take up space. We all deserve to have friends. They're out there. They want to be friends with us. We need to put in the work to create and maintain them. It's fulfilling work, and it needs to be a top priority for our health and longevity.
I hope that this show serves as a resource for you to have some tools on how to do that, how to build connections, how to create relationships, and how to approach someone for the first time. If this helped you, please share it with a friend. It may be a new friend that you haven't met before or whatever. This podcast is a great little thing you can text people to get their phone numbers. I would appreciate it. Subscribe. Leave a five-star rating and review this. This helps with the show rankings.
If you are reading this in real-time, this episode is released on July 17th, 2023. Starting on July 25th, 2023, I am hosting a follow-up to Prospecting on Purpose Live. It is a three-day workshop called ACE Your Sales. It's 90 minutes each day on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday. We're going to take everything that we've learned in the Prospecting on Purpose Workshop. That's July 14th, 2023. That's going to be our foundation and our jumping-off point to ace our sales.
ACE stands for Action, Communication, and Execution. We're focusing on those topics each day and following the sales process and the seven crucial skills for effective selling. If you want to learn more about that, it's Connect.SaraMurray.com/ACE. It is from July 25th, 2023 through the 27th, 2023 starting at 9:00 AM Pacific Time and 12:00 PM Eastern.
If you missed Prospecting on Purpose Live, no problem. A replay is going to be sent to you before ACE Your Sales begins. I'd recommend you watch that replay because we need a lot of that foundation-building and prospecting skills before we get into acing our sales. I'd love to have you join. It'll be super fun and very impactful. There's a lot of punch in this four and a half hours here. In the meantime, I hope you go out and make some friends, and I hope you have a great rest of your week. Thanks for tuning in. I'll see you next time.
