Episode 111: How Bartending Can Teach Sales – Neil Rogers’ Sales Lessons from Behind the Bar

Neil Rogers

For over 35 years, Neil Rogers has achieved sales success by applying simple, proven processes and procedures. These methods were developed through firsthand experience, beginning in his late teens and continuing into his mid-twenties, where he learned valuable lessons through perseverance and practical application.

It was these organizational systems, combined with common-sense techniques like the fundamental principle of “showing up,” that enabled him to overcome focus challenges and complete his college education. During this time, he worked in the hospitality industry as a bartender, an experience he credits with fostering his strong commitment to customer service.

As part of the Business Development section of the Positive Activity™ program, Neil incorporates these straightforward techniques, a deep dedication to serving customers, and a Positive Attitude to help businesses thrive.

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 How do we then take that relationship to the next level? You've made that greeting. They're here for something. Ask them a question and then shut your mouth. Listen.

What advice would you give to people who do fall on the sword and need to get back up?

Well, the first thing I would tell you is, take ownership. You're going to be seen. Make sure you're helping. Again, being hospitable, right? Make sure you jump in. Even though it's not your customer, talk to them. Bring them down, help them up. And they said the last thing he could say. Now, listen to this, if you forget everything I told you. Never avoid an opportunity to keep your mouth shut.

You're listening to Prospecting on Purpose, where we discuss all things, prospecting sales, business, and mindset. I'm your host, Sara Murray, a sales champion, who's here to show you that you can be a shark in business and still lead with intentionality and authenticity tune in each week as we dive into methods to connect with clients, communicate with confidence and close the deal. 

Neil Rogers is an author, speaker, and business leader with over 37 years of experience in marketing and sales, generating revenue and guiding clients through highly effective and result-oriented marketing campaigns. Neil has been the owner and VP of marketing and sales at Rogers Marketing for 26 years. He's built his career in business, leveraging both old-school and new-school marketing and sales techniques. Neil shares the skills and tools learned during his early working years as a bartender that led to his success as an entrepreneur and industry leader. This all comes up in his book- “Bar Tips- Everything I Needed to Know in Sales I Learned Behind the Bar.” I am so excited for our conversation today, Neil, welcome to Prospecting on Purpose.

Sara, great to be here. 

I'm so, I mean the parallels between bartending and sales, I think I've always known it. But haven't had anyone articulate it in the way that you have. So, I'd love to just, let's just start right there. Bartending leading to sales skills. Tell us about that. 

So a little backstory. So the whole notion of the book came around during, you know what? And I won't say the word. I'm trying to keep myself from losing my mind.

I guess around 2020. 

Exactly. I guess, the premise of the book came a few years earlier. Unbeknownst to me. And so, we were on, we live here on a golf community. It's not in Cyfalutin, it's not, it's a nice place, but the and so my daughter was being honored by the chamber as one of those people under 30 to watch, the 30 under 30, the chamber, they've got an award for everything.

So of course as good-doing parents, we went. The guy who brought Five Guys Burgers to New Hampshire was the keynote speaker. So, and he was my kind of speaker. I went to Salem State University. I flunked out of two community colleges and, and, finally got my act straight. That's how I talk. I'm not going to talk to you like I learned how to talk from Harvard.

And so he was like, right in line with me. I was like, “Oh, I like this guy” and he started talking about he brought five guys burgers to New Hampshire. And if you've ever worked in hospitality before, there's this thing called pre-meal. It gets a team together and we talk about what's out, what's in, you know, what the special of the day is and obviously they had a different type of menu than anything that we ever did. But his rah-rah speech was with something like this. We're not in the burger business, we're not in the fried business, we're not in the shake business, we're not in the soda business. We're in the hospitality business.

I looked at my wife and said, I've never left the hospitality business. I've been bartending on the road for 30+ years and I didn't quite really get the whole scope of what that meant, but as a general rule, treating people properly, and following up simple things, which the book is completely made up of the little things.

So that's really where it started and then again, during, you know, what for an, you know, one of the things I would do, and I still do it to this day, as I reach out to people, I do some sort of conscious act of kindness every day and the reach out sometimes is that especially if somebody's sick or has a parent, whatever it is, you know, and it really quite frankly, it's not like a low look at me. It's a selfish pursuit. I'd like to do it. So I reached out to this guy Terry McMahon, who was a MassMutual general agent here in New Hampshire, and wildly successful, but his success took him to behaviors where he needed a new liver.

So he's 18 months off of his new liver, completely spun his life around. The way he talked and all this stuff. I knew he was a brilliant guy. It wasn't, but you couldn't get through it with the rest of it, the persona that was him, and then also the abuse. But he encouraged me, he said, you should write a book. I said, what the heck am I going to write? What have I done? I've done some things, I've done some things that I'm proud of, especially as it relates to special needs, education, and all that stuff that we've done for our son and those that, those that are like him. But I said, you know what? And I started thinking about this thing, and I remembered that I remembered that comment thing, and you know what? We haven't left the hospitality business. And then I had done some research on that to find out how other people use hospitality in their business to engage their customers. Hospitality like things. So we, the third chapter of the book is that. And then I just started brain-dumping. And I started thinking of these things, so the chapters go, the importance of a proper greeting. I mean, true proper greeting. A smile, a handshake, a Hello, a How are you doing today.

I went into a store the other day, and I feel like retail has lost this, and it's something as simple as just acknowledging you're there. I mean, there have been twice in a row recently where I've been standing at the counter, clearly ready to buy something, and not even an acknowledgment, or, Hey, welcome, we'll be with you in a second. I mean, I appreciated that you're talking about the books full of little things because the little things make a big difference. And I am so excited that you're talking about this because that's something that, I think we've forgotten. And so I appreciate you bringing it back around.

So, again, as I go through these things, it's like, yeah, okay. And, by the way, it's like everything that I do, the reason why I did it, I'm sorry, I remember to do it myself.

Right.

Because nobody, Sara, that's a thousand. That's a credo I take all the way across the board. So, that is, something as simple as that. And you're, it's a classic case. Why aren't you just looking up outta your phone to say, and here's the thing about it, if that's the type of work you're going to do as a teenager, as someone during college, whatever it may be, that's the fun of doing the work.

The connection piece.

Talking to people, helping them solving their issues. Sara is coming in for a new pair of jeans. What cuts do they have these days? What do they look like? The way I always do it, the last time I went into, I think I actually went into Levi's that wasn't the last time I bought jeans. I did buy Bonobos jeans, the last ones, but I walked in and I said, listen, I'm 65 years old. I'm in great shape, but I don't want to look 25. Don't want to look like I’m trying to look 25. What do you got for me? And she goes, “Oh, okay.” And she brought it to me. And so it was perfect. So, there was, there's some hope. I mean, it's not again. 

Oh, I totally agree. I totally agree. So the bar is kind of low right now. It's not that hard to stand out.

It truly is. As a matter of fact, if you, when we link in together, we LinkedIn yet?

I think so. Yeah.

Okay. I did a video on it and then a blog post on this local store here in town called Alec’s Shoes.

You walk through the door, you get greeted, you go to a department, what are you here for? Boom, boom, boom. Let me show you the good, the better, the best. And then,” Oh, let me fit you”. They break out the, you know what that thing's called?

Measuring tape?

Measuring. It's called the Brannick.

The Brannick? 

Yeah, it was it was designed by a few of the guys for, I think it was Charles Brannick. Charles F. Brannick. Oh, my gosh. And he designed it. It took him years to design it, but it measures this way, that way, the whole nine yards. And so they'll, they still use that. You can't get that on Amazon. 

Mm hmm. Yeah. 

You know, and so, and yes, okay, you get to return the shoes on Amazon. Okay, great. But then you get to return the shoes, which isn't casual because I mean, as easy as they do make it, the line at Amazon to return them is, 40D, sometimes 30D.

I never have good luck with clothes or shoes on the internet, but, one of the things that you said was really interesting about, so first we will link the, what was the name of the store? Alec’s Shoes?

Alec’s Shoes.

Alec’s Shoes. I'll link it in the show notes for the episode of people want to watch the video or check it out. You would, so a formal greeting or a thoughtful warm welcome was one of the first steps. 

More welcome. 

Okay, check. We can do that. What's next? 

The next is, okay, so now this we're not even leaving chapter one yet, but, or the chapter one of the tips, right? The first two chapters of my story, are kind of the quasi-hero story, you know what I mean? Yep. Flunked outta college a few times, yada, yada, yada. Makes successful himself and marries a wonderful woman who aids in all of that, for sure. Majorly. But then how do we create, how do we then take that relationship to the next level?

You've made that greeting. They're here for something. Ask him a question and then shut your mouth. Listen. Old saying that, old mentor, boss of mine, Bill. He and his brother were very instrumental in giving me a lot of great sales knowledge and whatnot. Working with them for eight years was wonderful.

And, but Bill had some great ones. And he even admitted that this one came from his dad who was an attorney. But he would get us together. And, this is when we were in, I was in the athletic footwear and apparel business. So, we were manufacturers to represent. My favorite job of all time. We had a blast. I was young. Of course, I was young too. And so he'd get us all huddled up in a show. Alright, everybody in. Alright. Alright, we've got to cover up, five or six booths we've got to cover. We've got to be places. We've got to be seen. Make sure you're helping. Again, being hospitable, right? Make sure you jump in, even though it's not your customer. Talk to them. Bring them down, help them out. And he said the last thing he'd say, “Now listen to this, if you forget everything I told you. Never avoid an opportunity to keep your mouth shut.”

Oh, that's interesting.

Isn't that a good one?

Never avoid an opportunity to keep your mouth shut. I love that. 

One of these, one of these.

It also helps reframe it. It helps reframe it as something that you're taking action on. Even if the action is no action, you're being quiet. That's cool. 

So, anyway, so that's how, so now you're moving the relationship along, what are you here for, da da da da, and, you're discerning what they're looking for, you're not assuming, you're not being the over product person, but you may make some, now it may, if they're kind of dumbfounded, you may make some suggestions, which you might do if somebody walks into your bar and says, “yeah, I'd like a drink, what are you thinking? Well, I don't know. Do you like vodka? Okay. Do you like a good margarita? Do you like it? Do you like it with salt?” Right? So we're getting to the solution. And of course, that's a different type of solution, obviously. But so then, yeah, so there you are. So that's, that's tip number one.

And so now you've kicked it off because and then the old adage, which we associate, they didn't make the book, but they made the guidebook. The old adage we associate with that, what might be what, Sara? You only have one opportunity at this. And what is that?

Make a good first impression.

Didn't make that one up, did I? 

Yeah, but you know what, but it's so right because I think it applies to so many different areas and I like that we're using some of the B2C examples or business-to-consumer examples because it translates so nicely to business-to-business. If you go to a restaurant and you sit down and no server comes to you, what are you going to do? Get up and leave and you probably won't go to that restaurant again. So I really like the hospitality lens that you're using to look at that. What, may I ask what bar did you work at?

So, at 19 years old, I worked at a place called the Full Sail in Whitehorse Beach. And this is when I was kind of floundering, kind of flunked out, and didn't know what I was going to do.

And again, came from the seventh of eight of this, Irish Catholic family with no, loved my parents, had no acts to grind, and my siblings were all in good shape. And let's just say I wasn't too coachable And so I just didn't know what I was going to do. And so I've got my first attempt at school was just, I'll just go to school.

Well, I'd had no vision, no passion, no anything, but I wound up, I wound up working at a restaurant called, had been doing it all along, washing dishes, but then we got the bussing tables and I wound up being a bar back. And then I look at the, then I wound up, I'm watching the bartenders and I looked at them and I was like, that's pretty cool. And that was the only reason it wasn't a career move. It wasn't this, you know, maybe girls would like me back. I don't know. It was like, whatever. It was not, it was not about any type of progress, right? And it wound up being, so I decided I wanted to get a bar job. So the first bar job I got was this place called the Full Sail in Whitehorse Beach, Plymouth, Mass, which to this day, we have a play, my wife and I have a place there. And if you're of a certain age down there, I'd probably point you to drink.

I was going to say 19 at the bar. Interesting. Well, it's so funny because I think about, I've only really recently been connecting these dots together. My first job was at the Park Meadows Country Club in Park City, Utah, and I was 14 and I didn't like to babysit. And I asked my parents, if I got a job, would you drive me? And they said yes. And I usually catch a ride home with someone from the club who could drive because I was 14. But I just went in and I met the snack bar manager and I was talking about my work experience, which was volunteering with our golden retriever as like a therapy dog. And I take her with my mom to hospitals and I brought that up. Turns out this woman has a therapy dog too. So I get the job at 14. I worked there for six years. I loved that job, but it's funny because now in my business, I'm in the hospitality space, I'm in the luxury space, and I contribute a lot of those lessons learned at like silly 15-year-old Sara schmoozing with Dr. so and so at the country club, and it wasn't that hard because we're all just people, and I feel like bartending is a very similar aha realization of It doesn't matter who the other person is. You're both humans. And I'm so grateful for that early job because I do think that that gave me a lot of little habits that I wasn't expecting. And now it's kind of making sense.

So yeah, that's kind of how it kicks off. And then, things like, you know, when you're in sales, the next chapter is the most organized wins. 

Oh, I like that too. 

All right. So Tia’s is the, so now I moved. So later once that's 19, by the time I was like 23, I think, I was working in a place called Tia's in Boston. And that was a high-powered, really popular, you had to know your stuff type place to work. I mean, it was not for the faint of heart. You got to the bar on a Friday night at 4 o'clock and you did not stop till 1.30, 2 o'clock in the morning. And so, it was like an inquisition to get the job, too. But Tia’s was set up perfectly. To this day, it was right here, these slanted racks, to my right, it was Smirnoff, Absolute, Stolle. The next level was Dewars, JB, and Cuttysock, Scotches. That was whiskey's next level down, we got to a point. And then, of course, you had the speed rack in front of you. And that was right there to my left there were the beer tabs. And once again, to this date, we had a wine tab, delicious stuff for the wine. And then it was Basile, Heineken, Miller, and Miller light. And then we have Beck's light and dark in the back, but it was set up for success. We were prepared to take on all comers. Now, at some point, the first night we put four people behind the bar and one bar back, they now, by the way, we lost, I'm not going to say we won, we didn't, we were overwhelmed. They have eight now, eight and three. Yeah, so it's like, so it's crazy.

How do you translate the organization to sales?

Well, I mean, let's face it, if you, but I always like to put it in perspective for the person, if you have a salesperson, your new insurance guy or gal shows up and their papers are all a mess and they forgot this and they're, and then, oh, by the way, the next thing is time management skills and they're 15 minutes late and they're, oh, my dog ate my homework and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. It's not going well. And it does not, it's not really giving you a lot of confidence in giving this person your business so that, and so we talk about that as a, you know, so how your station is set up is the same as how your computer is, or how your slides are, or, you know, your, printed materials, or your samples in your car, if you sell by samples, and, are they you know, back in the shoe days, are they laced properly, you know, are your clothes, are your apparel pieces, you know, are they cleaned, are they pressed, do you look spit and polished, and oh, by the way, you know, so, it's also when you talk about, when you combine and time management, because by being organized, your time management opportunity gets better. And it's all getting around that gig to be what they call Lombardi time, 15 minutes early is on time. 

You know, I find this so interesting, Neil, because, I'm having a little light bulbs go off right now. I think I've just been a naturally organized person with things like that. So it's never struck me as something to focus on. But for our listeners, I think this is something really compelling is the most organized wins. I love that quote that you just said. Because you are set up for success. If you have your presentations outlined, you know how to grab things quickly, especially on virtual selling, because we're selling on Zoom more than ever, that can actually be a competitive edge. If you have your cheat sheet behind you, your laptop's not looking up at your chin, you're not looking at a second screen. I guess I never put it together that that is a hard skill that people need to work on. So I really appreciate you saying that. 

Yeah. So, and then if you're time management, if you're organizing your time management is geared all geared around being early. But early as well on time, which is 15 minutes early.

So, you're not my dog ate my homework. And by the way, I'll say this out loud. I'll say it, you know, any type of any, any speech I give any keynote, whatever I go on the sword, nobody bats a 1000. Give yourself some grace. But try not, you know, you'll do it less. I said, I said, on most of the things I talk about, I'm shooting for 750, 300 gets in the MLB Hall of Fame, but 750 in life, I think it would be a good,  aim and progressively getting better. But are you, are you, are you going to get to a thousand? No, you know, life is a practice. It's not perfect.

Let's talk about that a little bit because I do think that I make mistakes a lot too. And, it's a muscle that we have to work on to not let that impact how you move forward. How do you, what advice would you give to people who do fall on the sword and need to get back up?

Well, the first thing I would tell you is, take ownership. I'll give you a classic example. It's one from last week and it involved, guess what? A podcast interview. 

What happened? 

I was heading over to an appointment, probably about a half hour from here, and I grabbed the sandwich, I was sitting in a place grabbing a sandwich, and my son texted me, and he goes, “Hey dad, you're supposed to be on a podcast”. I said, “What are you talking about”? 

So I'm looking, I'm like, oh, and so I'm looking on my phone, then I see it there. Well, everybody, most people, I would say 80 percent of the people, 75 percent of the people use Zoom. So okay, Zoom's easy. But then there's Riverside. Something else. Sometimes it goes into the calendar. Sometimes they don't send them. So sometimes, and then also, it can, sometimes there's an alert. Sometimes there isn't. Right? So you use, so that crutch happens, right? So I'm sitting there and so I'm like, so, I try to get on my phone, which is not ideal. As a podcaster, it's not ideal, but I couldn't get on for some reason it wouldn't accept. So I sent him an email. So listen, I'm trying to get on via phone that I hadn't yet gone on the sword yet. And, so he said to my son, so my son gave him my phone number and he said, well, I'm not chasing somebody down that I've got an appointment with. I'm sitting there going, 

You said that? Or mentally?

I'm looking at, I'm like going, you know what, he's right. He's right. And also, you know, i actually went back to this computer 'cause I was like going, oh, I hope my, I don't think Zoom has been loaded. Zoom hasn't been loaded onto this one yet. And I said, all right, I'm not gonna do that again. I wanna be here for Sara as soon as I can. Right?

And Neil was early folks, so he showed up early.  

So then, then what I did was, so he emailed me, and said, “Hey, let's just reschedule”. So my response was, I said to him, “Paul, thank you for your grace”. I gave him the dog ate my homework excuses. And I said, and I actually called him, those are my dog ate my homework excuses. The next line was, but I could have done better. So, could I have just blamed it on that and kind of stuck my chest out and, and, you know, well, too bad about you? No, no, it made me feel better to do that. I, you know, the guy had set up a time for me and set it aside and I felt bad about it. So, also when you do that, you're less likely to make the mistake again. Hence, I'm like panic-stricken to make sure I'm early for you. 

Thank you. Well, take ownership.

That's what when you said, when you texted me when you emailed me, I was like, oh, you called me? And I was like, why is Sara calling me? So I called you back. And then I saw that you emailed me. I saw that, if I declined, I have no idea how I declined.

Well, sometimes it doesn't put it on your calendar. So I just wanted to make sure.

But no, then it was there. That's why a buddy of mine said to me last fall. I saw him. He's really a tech guy and he's made his money in software, cyber security sales, and whatnot. He's the notion of a driverless car comes up. I said, “Dude, 2 things I'm not going to do in my life. One, I’m not playing pickleball. And two, I'm never getting a driverless car”.

I just went in my first one the other day and it was weird. Keep going. But it was…

You know why? Because sometimes the alert comes, and sometimes the alert doesn't. Word loads up fine this time. The outlook is taken forever. I'm like going, Microsoft doesn't get it right yet.

Microsoft was down yesterday. Alec wasn't working yesterday. Well, that's okay. That's such a good point. The driverless car was way weird. And I don't know if I would do it again. We did stop for a woman and her baby stroller, though, crossing the street. So it was a trip. But, I do appreciate because one of the things that, if you're in the hospitality business, face-to-face is really important, even if it's Zoom face-to-face, but getting out and interacting with our clients in person and like breaking bread with our clients is really important, and I think that's what separates, in some cases, the elite from From the average salesperson and I think that hospitality lens really helps with this because so many people these days are trying to sell on LinkedIn message and zoom and trying to sell via email and nobody just picks up the phone and I sometimes, it's not appropriate to call people. But I've been doing pretty, like, I just called you because I had two minutes and I was like, well, it might be faster to just call Neil and confirm we're on, but guess what? Now, now we have each other's cell phone numbers, you know, like it's, it's a creative way to build that connection. And so I'd love to learn from you. What have you seen from like virtual sales land versus in person? What are some of the things that you can help support our audience if they're trying to sell virtually?

I am old school. I mean, I prefer, I don't mind a combo of things. I think you can work out details a lot by email. You can have conversations like this, which is great. I think it's great. I still believe that one on one in person is better. And it becomes, that's why I'm practicing my chops all the time. In a counter in any public setting and a kind of breakfast counter. I go to breakfast every weekend, every morning when I'm down in Plymouth, not because I like eggs. I don't like eggs. I like the waitresses and I like to talk to the people there because I get to converse, I get to ask a question and do what?….

Make a good 1st impression. Listen, listen.

Right.

And so and actually, that's one of the things I talk about in some of my talks is like. You know, you can practice these things. And so yeah, I mean, one of the things I'm doing and, is, I actually got TIP certified.

What does TIP stand for? 

So it's a process, a program you have to go through in order to pour drinks in Massachusetts. And I don't want to get in on anybody's, I want to just get on somebody's roster as a sub because I want to be able to say, no, I don't want to get on the calendar, but I want to do that because I miss that. We don't do it as much as we used to, you know, everybody works out of their house. Everybody works from home and all that stuff. So it's like, we used to do lunch and learns and we used to, you know, it always worked out much better in terms of like their engagement about what we do and how we can help them and all those things. So, not that that's going to happen by doing the bartending, but, I just want that. I miss that one-on-one stuff.

Well, I think that's a way to stand out from the noise too, because everyone's so inundated with stuff and inbound and, you know, our screens in person, the fun opportunities to connect. I think that's one way to really stand out. And I'd love to learn from you, Neil. So now you have a couple of different businesses that you're operating. Is that correct? 

Yeah, they dovetail. Because on our swag business, which is our primary business, we've been doing that for 27 years. Very good to us. That's primary still, but we really, you know, it's the stage of our lives. We've got a simple message that gives you powerful results and we want to tell the story. We must, and we do it in two places. One is in business sales primarily,  But also in caregiving.

So because of our son with autism, we just gave a keynote. My wife and I combined on it two weeks ago at a local health and human services organization. And we talked about our whole positive activity process. And that's where I was telling you offline that, you know, these practices that we've learned through our readings with the happiness advantage.

Everybody out there in Sara's land should, I would suggest reading that book or listening to his TED talk. It's 12 minutes of just jam-packed stuff and then maybe impart some of those practices to start off your day so that you're in a place of creativity. So, you get into that place of positivity, which leads you to open-minded, divergent thinking, solution-providing, and creativity. 

So, because we do these practices, and we do them every day, our positivity level, our happiness level start here at a higher level. So we're less, when something goes awry or something of that nature, we're not like losing our minds. How are we ever going to get beyond this and that's of course, what happens as salespeople. It happens as caregivers. So it's analogous. And we spoke about that because these people are in tough shape. You know, their kids have been diagnosed or they're working with this population, whatever it is. So you've got to come in with that great attitude so that you're creative in your solution provider and then you're looking for the little nuances, the new, you know, like, especially in caregiving what incremental change that I see today that makes me happier with Johnny, Susie, whatever it is. And then, yeah, so that's the, and then we could take them through the whole process of like, and I was telling you earlier that I'm the least likely candidate to have to buy into the positivity nonsense. 

Yeah. Let me ask you a question about that. Because, I think that 1 thing I get because I feel like connecting with others comes naturally, but I think maybe it was just from the country club days that I learned it at an early age, and then also I'm pretty positive too, but I've had people ask me or say to me, “ well, isn't that just your natural state? How can you teach people to be happy? Or how can you teach people to connect with others?” And that's why I like these types of conversations because I get to meet people like you who are doing similar things, but do you think it's, yeah, It's obviously not nature versus nurture. Are you a positive person or did you start out that way?

Well, no. So, I grew up the seventh of eight of an Irish Catholic family, not the most positive environment. Love my parents, love my siblings. I don't have any actor ground, but it was just what is what it was. It was the time criticism came quick where warmth might have slow to come. Let's just say the Socratic method was not practiced in the house. My brother tells a story. As a matter of fact, we walk a lot together when I'm down by him. And I said, Jerry, I need a story. I need a good story because I have one, but it's not as he's 10 years older than me. So he got he got the 1st run of parochial school, you know, all that stuff.

And so he wanted to go back to our hometown high school because they were traveling from we were up in this place called Melrose. He grew up. He went to Cambridge, which is you probably heard of Cambridge, Massachusetts, and whatnot. So he and it was a hike and he was getting beat on by nuns and it was just awful.

So he sat my parents down. And he says, Gaze makes the case. Bright kid, bright guy, smart guy. He makes the case. I'll be better academically. He was a football player. He was a basketball player. My academic, my math athletics will be better. All in all, I wanted to travel as much.  I can do more homework, whatever it is. And what kind of, something like this.  No. That was it. So it's like, and so by the time. I got around, my May of my senior year, and I said, Hey, Mom, is there something I should be doing next year? So this is the type of thing. It wasn't awful. It wasn't like it is today. We've had our kids mapped out from DNA and I think that I'm not saying that's the right thing either, you know, I think they're a hybrid of the two might be something because we, but yeah, so that was, and so it wasn't really, so I got in, as I mentioned to you offline, I got into the hospitality business at like 14, 15 years old, and then I got, I started and now I'm taking care of customers and you can't be negative.

 So I started it there, I'm not saying it was 100%, and of course, as I mentioned earlier, nobody bats a thousand. So it's like, so we, but, then I started, once I figured that, once I got through, I got to the other side of the bartending, finished my college degree, started my first sales job, I would put stuff on my, you know, like little stickies on my dashboard.

Stay positive, stay out there, and make another call. You know, just these simple things, and I don't know where I got it. Nobody told me to do it. I just did it. And then, so that kind of stayed with us. And then we had a foundation for special needs education called PACE, Parents Assisting Special Educators because it was the one thing we felt like we could get our arms around and help. You know, help Craig and help those kids that followed. I got a little plaque on the wall right over here.

I love it. 

So we, but here was the thing, the credo of PACE was we are a positive, proactive parent organization dedicated to supporting those people on the front line. By, I mean, positive is that when you come to a PACE meeting, you leave your grievances at the door.

We all have, schools aren't doing enough, the government isn't doing this. They, this isn't funded. Great. We get it now. How can we help? So again, that's where that solution providing comes in. So now you're in that, so unbeknownst to me at that time, that's where we were. We were in a creative mode because we were spinning it positive, right?

I love the link between creativity and positivity because I've never made those connections before. But when you're, but it makes a lot of sense when you lay it out that way. I also think you had made a comment, you know, that you learned to be positive behind the bar. It's so true. And I think that people try to find connection points and sometimes they do it from a negative standpoint, like, Oh, the parking was such a pain in the butt to get to this event or whatever the reason is, and that's one way to connect, but It's a drag. You drain other people. If somebody comes into the bar and sits down and their bartender starts telling them their problems. What? I don't have to, I'm not your therapist, sir. Like, I just am here to give you my money. So I think that's a really good reframe because I think people need the reminder. It's not on purpose. It's not intentional. But it can be very easy to slip into that negative connection point versus keeping it positive.

And it's so, it's not that hard to do. I mean, again, back to the nobody bats a thousand. I mean, it's like, I looked down today. I hadn't journaled today or yesterday. So I started again today. And, so I did my journaling, I did my meditation, I worked out today. So I got all that movement in. I think one thing that I've learned a lot stuff on YouTube. There's a guy,  I forget what his name is, but he has the NSDR, non-sleep deep breast, I don't know if you've ever heard of that, but it's kind of a form of meditation, but you don’t know well what meditation is, you're awake anyways, although I've fallen asleep during meditation before, but it's just one of those things, they take you down a path and whatnot, it's a guided thing, and the same guy that started that, had this other list of things that he does in the morning.

And one is he drinks no coffee right out of the gate. He'll have water with some salt in it. He'll try to get a little bit off, he'll get right outside for a 10-minute walk. He'll try to get a workout in and then he goes into a cold shower. I've heard about this cold stuff. I haven't really researched and all that, but it was like, hmm, I have heard people talk about, you know, taking a shower Every, you know, like a couple three times a day just to refresh and all that. So, I mean, those are the things and I know this and it's much like the book when I talk about it in the book.

I Wrote these things because I want to remember. I teach this stuff because, I just told you I was late for, so I blew off an appointment. I was wrong, but I took 1 of the things in the book is, there's a chapter on taking ownership when a business problem arises. Likely to do it again.

You know, what's kind of cool about this is I feel like this serves as a way of external accountability for yourself. And I think if people are listening and they don't have a book or they don't have a podcast, there are still ways that you can hold yourself accountable. And I think that's,  kind of the big takeaway I'm getting from you, Neil, is, you know, you're in the driver's seat. You're the one that has to make this happen. Taking ownership of your mistakes, making sure that you're making other people feel that warm welcome, and that hospitality sales approach and all of those little things that you've been talking about leading up to a positive execution and a positive and creative relationship. Like, that's kind of what I'm getting out of our conversation. And I love that this is how your path has taken you because I think every one of us has different paths that we've followed and if you look back, you can kind of say, oh, wait, that's why that had to happen. Oh, wait, that's why I had to make that mistake because I learned how to do this. Oh, I'm going to continue to practice these things that I'm preaching because they're important to me. And the benefit is it usually results in sales success. So that's the nice results from the cause that we've been putting out in the world.

And just happier. 

Yeah. Oh my gosh! It's such a nicer way to live life. It's a more peaceful, happier way to live life. And what I like about this journey for me is that it connects me with people like you, like I've been able to really make some very cool connections through this journey. And so, I want to thank you for coming on the show before we kind of start to wrap up, is there anything else that we haven't covered that you want to make sure we touch on?

 In my journey, I've come to understand that true success, lasting success, cannot be found in anything less. I commit to entering only into those ventures that bring benefit to everyone involved success will come my way because by drawing towards me the energies I need and the collaboration of others. Here's the linchpin. I will inspire others to join and support my endeavors through my own dedication to serving them. It's a two-way street.

Yeah, big time.

Right?

Well, and I think that I love that you said it's a two-way street because people are happy to help when there's reciprocity. But we talk about the emotional bank account on this show a lot, like the deposits and the withdrawals, and did a section this morning with a team and people try to draw from an empty bank. You're asking for something and the bank is empty. And so, of course, you're not going to get anything. Of course, you're not going to get traction. Because you're taking from an empty bank. So how can you add value? And I think that's really where these are easy ways to add value. I'll link up the, obviously your book, your companies also linked the happiness advantage video that you mentioned and the book underestimated in the show notes. So if anyone's listening and wants to dive in more, where can people find you to connect outside of those resources? 

So positiveactivity.net is our website for our programs and the book is outlined there. It's also a, I've done some, I think some, I do a lot of, and everything that comes off of there is positive. We'll never, might have private conversations about how somebody isn't serving me well, but, I will never do that, through, what we call our blog is the nourishing news. So it's usually associated with a quick little video. I talk about Alec’s Shoes on there. 

Neil, thank you so much for coming on the show. Thank you for lending your expertise. I'll link up everything in the show notes and I'm happy you and I are going to be in each other's networks now.

Sounds good, Sara. 

All right. Thanks so much for joining. 

Thank you so much for listening to the Prospecting on Purpose podcast. If you loved what you heard today, subscribe to the podcast and please rate and leave a review. For more info on me or if you'd like to work together, feel free to go to my website, saramurray.com on social media. I'm usually hanging out at SaraMurraysales. Thanks again for joining me and I'll see you next time.

💡 Connect with Neil Rogers:

🌐 Explore more about Neil’s work: Everything I Learned About Sales I Learned Behind the Bar
🔗 Connect on LinkedIn: Neil Rogers
📖 Get his book:  Everything I Learned About Sales I Learned Behind the Bar

👟 Learn more about Alec’s Shoe Store: alecs-shoes.com

🎥 Watch ‘The Happiness Advantage’ TED Talk 

🚀 Tune in now and discover how bartending skills can transform your sales success!

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